THE DARK SIDE OF COMPASSION

Compassion is one of the best parts of being human, but without clarity, it can undermine the culture you’re working to build.

I’ve seen both founders and team members burn out trying to carry someone else’s weight. What starts as kindness often leads to dependence, resentment, or fatigue (or all of them at once). Often, it’s rooted in good intentions and a desire to be helpful, but those good intentions can get in the way of real growth.

Toxic compassion shows up in three common ways:

1. Overhelping: Solving problems that don’t belong to you
2. Savior complex: Jumping in before someone’s had the chance to learn
3. Compassion fatigue: Giving so much that you start to check out
   

Read more in 3 Ways Compassion Can Be Toxic.

You don’t need less compassion — you just need to point it in the right direction. That starts with boundaries, clarity, and belief in people’s ability to grow. Where could that kind of focused compassion take your team?

PERSPECTIVES

“Requiring accountability while also extending your compassion is not the easiest course of action, but it is the most humane.”
— Brené Brown, Rising Strong

MARK MY WORDS

I’ve made the mistake of stepping in too quickly more than once. Someone on the team was struggling, I had a solution, and I wanted to help. But over time, I realized I wasn’t actually helping. I was just taking the work away.

What feels like support in the moment can undercut someone’s growth. When we decide to step in and take over, the other person doesn’t build the muscle. They don’t own the outcome. And without realizing it, we’re reinforcing the idea that we’ll always be there to fix it.

That kind of compassion doesn’t scale. It creates dependency. If we want to build strong teams, we have to stop solving everything ourselves and start trusting others to rise to the challenge. And if we can't trust them, they probably aren't the right people for our teams.

FOUNDER TOOL KIT

The 90-Day Reset
When things feel off — missed goals, recurring issues, slow decisions — it’s often not a people problem. It’s a clarity problem. This guide walks you through a 90-day reset to help your Senior Leadership Team get aligned, solve what’s stuck, and turn strategy into action.

Use it to:

• Get clear on the right goals for the next 90 days.
• Address real issues before they start compounding.
• Create momentum with priorities, ownership, and follow-through.

[Download Now]

ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD

In case you missed it, here’s more from Founder’s Framework:

Why Alignment at the Top Matters

It’s easy to stay loyal to the team you lead. But if you're on the Senior Leadership Team, that can’t be your first allegiance. This article explains why your First Team is the one making the biggest calls for the company — and what’s at stake when they’re not aligned.

[Read Now]

The 1990 hit “Hard to Handle” channels bold energy and tough love — just like the shift from overhelping to real accountability.